Here's another joke.
**** MEMO **** TO ALL EMPLOYEES 04/28/1995 TOILET POLICY In the past employees were permitted to make trips to the toilet under informal guidelines. Effective immediately, a toilet policy will be established to provide a more consistent method of accounting for each employee's toilet time, thereby ensuring equal toilet time for all employees. Under the policy a "TOILET TRIP BANK" will be established for each employee. On the first day of each month, employees will be given twenty toilet trip credits. These credits may be accumulated! Within two weeks, the entrance doors to all toilets are to be equipped with personnel Identification Electronic Stations (PIES) and computer linked with voice print recognition devices. Before the end of the month each employee must provide two (2) copies of his/her voice prints, one normal and one under stress, to the personnel department. The voice print recognition stations will be operational but not restrictive for the rest of the month. When installed, employees should acquaint themselves with the stations during this commissioning period. If and employee's toilet trip bank balance reaches zero, the doors to the toilet will not unlock for that employee until the first of the next month. In addition, all toilet bowls are being equipped with timed paper roll retractors. If the toilet is occupied for more than three (3) minutes, an alarm sounds, the roll of paper will retract into the dispenser, the toilet will flush and the toilet door will open. If the toilet remains occupied, your picture will be taken. The picture will be posted on the noticeboard. Anyone whose picture appears any more than three (3) times will have cause for instant dismissal. If you have any questions regarding this policy, please discuss with your personnel officer.
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