Here's another joke.

                             ****  MEMO  ****
  
  TO ALL EMPLOYEES
  
  04/28/1995
  
  TOILET POLICY
  
  In the past employees were permitted to make trips to the toilet
  under informal guidelines.
  
  Effective immediately, a toilet policy will be established to provide
  a more consistent method of accounting for each employee's toilet time,
  thereby ensuring equal toilet time for all employees.
  
  Under the policy a "TOILET TRIP BANK" will be established for each
  employee.  On the first day of each month, employees will be given
  twenty toilet trip credits.  These credits may be accumulated!
  
  Within two weeks, the entrance doors to all toilets are to be equipped
  with personnel Identification Electronic Stations (PIES) and computer
  linked with voice print recognition devices.
  
  Before the end of the month each employee must provide two (2) copies
  of his/her voice prints, one normal and one under stress, to the
  personnel department.  The voice print recognition stations will be
  operational but not restrictive for the rest of the month.  When
  installed, employees should acquaint themselves with the stations
  during this commissioning period.
  
  If and employee's toilet trip bank balance reaches zero, the doors
  to the toilet will not unlock for that employee until the first of
  the next month.
  
  In addition, all toilet bowls are being equipped with timed paper
  roll retractors.
  
  If the toilet is occupied for more than three (3) minutes, an alarm
  sounds, the roll of paper will retract into the dispenser, the toilet
  will flush and the toilet door will open.
  
  If the toilet remains occupied, your picture will be taken.
  
  The picture will be posted on the noticeboard.  Anyone whose picture
  appears any more than three (3) times will have cause for instant dismissal.
  
  If you have any questions regarding this policy, please discuss with
  your personnel officer.

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